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Dispatches from the war against scammers

A new record! Last time I kept them on the line for 37 minutes before pointing out that I knew what they were doing. Result: they phoned me back to insult me.

This time I managed to wind them up enough *within 15 seconds* that they phoned me back to insult me.

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We're not worthy. Really.

If only I could harness my powers for good...

It sounds to me like you are.

Why not continue by telling us what on earth it was you said to them?

I told them what they were going to tell me.

Oh, and then I told them to go and fuck a cow.

And that kept them on the line for 37 minutes?

That must be the most detailed description of bovine molestation in history!

No, the 37 minutes was from playing dumber than a sackful of hammers. The biggest problem I had was keeping a straight face.

This time my response was more along the lines of "So, is this a call where you try to get me to install software on my computer that gives you remote access to it, and I waste your time for half an hour before calling you a scammer and telling you to go and fuck a cow? So let's just cut to the chase: go and fuck a cow."

I'll try harder next time, I promise.

Also, I need to find some really culturally inappropriate porn that I can point them at.

That "Go fuck a cow" thing?
It really works, doesn't it?

Not 37 minutes, but I certainly had an angrier callcentre droid than usual.

I got a 'we have called you because someone in your household had a recent accident' call (robot - push 5) and spent a fun few minutes asking in a scared voice how they found out about my accident.

They hung up on me mid sentence.

Next time I get that one I may go with "Oh thank god! what do I do??? She's bleeding everywhere! It wasn't my fault (she made me do it)"

Awesome. We should really start recording these for totl.

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