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Dear Undergraduates...

Dear Undergraduates,

It has come to my attention that many of you have chosen to celebrate the coming of autumn by donning unattractively formless sheepskin boots of the Ugg variety and shuffling around campus like a horde of denim-clad zombies. Perhaps you failed to read my previous missive on this subject?

While I understand the need to keep one's feet warm, might I suggest that your precious Uggs would last longer if a) you lifted your feet clear of the ground when moving your legs forward and b) you left the boots at home and wore some more sensible (and less ugly) footwear instead. You'll also be doing yourself a favour; your feet are visibly pronate, and there's a world of pain awaiting you if you don't fix that. Did your mothers never tell you about the importance of good footwear?

Also, be aware that I am considering fitting spinning blades onto the wheels of the garklet's pushchair, with twin aims in mind. First, you'll learn to make way for the pushchair on the bus, and secondly, it'll damage your precious Uggs and force you to wear something less ugly. It'll also give the garklet a bit of a laugh, so I'm sure you'll appreciate his exclamations of 'uh oh' as you collapse to the ground in agony.

No love,


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Nobody should be that funny on a Monday morning.

By the way, how difficult do you find it to use the pushchair in London ?

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I'd forgotten the ballet pumps - they're endemic here as well.

A friend's daughter has just bought a pair of DM boots... I predict they will be coming to a campus near you v.soon.

DMs are my standard footwear (steel-capped, ever since I found out that they count as work boots, and are therefore VAT-free), so this means that I have a fighting chance of being fashionable for the first time in more than a decade.

Who am I kidding? For the first time ever, sadly.

Beware nick. It'll be like combats all over again. After a season of being fashionable you'll be notably un-fashionable for several years.

I never really did the combat thing (I've only ever owned one pair, and wore them more for DIY than anything else), but it's a good point.

That said, do I look like the sort of person who is overly concerned by the appearance of being fashionable?

Perhaps all the shuffling is preparation for world zombie day.


Zombies tend to dress better.

I was so thinking of you t'other day in that exact connection. Bloody hell, isn't the point of fashions that they GO OUT!

When I first came to Southampton in 1997, the fashion amongst female undergraduates was for tight blue jeans worn with tight cream ribbed sweaters and bodywarmers/gilets. Mercifully, that fashion has now disappeared.

To be replaced with shorts-over-tights, perchance? (When I saw that not even Gwen Stefani could make that look work for me, I knew nobody else stood a chance...)

Shorts over tights is still going strong. With Uggs.

The problem with chariot blades on the pushchair is that you're going to greatly increase the force needed to propel it, making traversing a crowd of freshers as much work as mowing the lawn without the benefits of electricity or controlled combustion.

Hmm, combustion. Uggs look pretty flammable. Give garklet his first flamethrower, and you'll get far more effective crowd dispersal.

Laughed a lot at the 'uh oh' part. How's the new batch of CS students fairing?

It's official.
You are a grumpy old man, welcome to the club :)

It could be SO much worse, though. Were you aware that they make fur-lined Crocs?

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