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Conference Redux
chap
nmg

Conference registration: £400

Airline flight: £160

Hotel bill: £340

Discovering that less than ten people have bothered to stay around for your presentation: priceless

No, I'm not impressed. Can you tell?

Also, note the following exchange:

Me
This is our work on a formal model for XXX. I'm not a formal methods person, so I may not be able to answer your questions on those aspects; I'll concentrate on the broader context of our work and refer you to the paper.
Audience member
But what about (highly technical question relating to formal methods)?
Me
*boggles*

On the plus side, the burgers in the Hotel Malmaison are probably the best burgers I've have from hotel room service, or perhaps anywhere.


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Lack of audience sucks. Was it at least the kind of conference with lots of useful wheeling and dealing during coffee breaks?

And if it was then hey, you didn't pay, so win :)

What city?

I think I see why nobody went ;P

No, there were about forty people left at the conference (the lesser of the two conferences that were colocated - lots of people went home on the Wednesday after the first conference finished).

This means that thirty of them decided to it would be better to go and see the sights in Belfast than stay for the last session of the day.

Alas, no. They're all bloody formal methods types. I've more in common with lobsters, or perhaps oak trees (from a professional perspective - they seem nice enough as people).

I remember my first international conference -- (A) due to some mixup I was apparently supposed to be chairing a session on something I knew nothing about and (B) an entire day was formal methods papers by guys with Chinese names. I decided that discretion was the better part of valour and instead of (B) decided that the Air & Space Museum in Washington was a much better bet (well, hell, I was working on aviation safety at the time!)

You could at least write that off as work-related. Belfast seems to be full of bloody Titanic stuff - as a resident of Southampton, I get quite enough of that already (so much so that I didn't actually notice it at first).

You're really filling me with confidence about this whole "presenting at a conference" thing.

(Deleted comment)
The Web conference is very, very different. For a start, it's full of "my kind of people" (and I reckon also your kind of people).

Besides which, your paper is interesting and thought-provoking - I predict you'll have people asking you questions about it over coffee.

When you come to realise that the average standard of presentation of any CS/techie conference papers is abysmal bordering on severely autistic, you'll soon realise that making any effort to present well places you in the upper few percent of conference presenters.

For a moment there I thought you said "burglars". Complementing the burglars at your hotel as being the best would make this a much more interesting post.

Wooo! I is on the same land mass as you!

ps: thanks for the electric mitre saw - see a couple of posts back.

I had a party of four from an outsourcing company in the Ukraine visiting a couple of weeks ago. They're a fantastic company, they've done great work for my group in the past, and we wanted to introduce them to the heads of all the big engineering groups in the firm.

The audience? Me, a bloke who was leaving the next week, and ten minutes of two middle managers.

You can lead a horse to water but if you do you find out what a wet horse smells like but you can't make him attend meetings ;)

I can top that

(Anonymous)
I attended a session (3 papers) at a conference a few years ago. There were four people in the room: The chairman, the first speaker, the second speaker, and me. I don't know where the third speaker was -- I left after the first talk, because there was another talk in a different room I wanted to go to.

Hugo.

(Deleted comment)
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